My Blog

Well….Genesis… the beginning; uhmmmm… solid!!! hehehehe. Anyway, I hope this endeavour becomes fruitfull and helpfull to me, specially, since I always keep things to myself most of the time.

Okay, I usually start everything new with a prayer. Everyday, that I wake up, I have this quick phrase (short prayer) that I always whisper to myself. But maybe, I can start this “blogging” with a simple prayer that I have made when I was on a church one time and came accross their candle lighting area. I have made this because I didn’t saw the prayer posted in that particualr area fit with my real intentions why I light a candle.

Well… it has no title yet and been using it for several months already, but here it goes;

May this light on my candle be my guide to every darknes I shall go through in this world.
May its fire, burn my sins, and may its flame produce the warmest love this world has never felt, overwhelming, that I can share to all and everyone who cross my path.

May my life be like of this candle, that shall serve as guiding light to those in the dark, to those seeks You, to those who needs You, to those who lost You in their own quest for Love, Hope and Justice,
Just like what You have done to me until my candle of life rans out. Amen.

Well… uhmmm.. my first blog about my life in solitude. I actually enjoy myself more than with others. They call me wierd, so silent, always serious, and the usual “suplado”. But its me! I’ve always been that way.. I was born like that.. (unless I had a twin… hehehe) alone… independent.. always tickling my mind so to speak. I enjoy watching people, things, movies, everything… I try to consolidate why things go around silently on my mind. uhmmm…. maybe that really is wierd.. being silent… hehehehe…

They say I’m “suplado”, that I don’t look either on my right and my left when I am passing by. But frankly speaking, I already did saw them and chances are, I have already smiled at them. Its just so instant
that they are the ones who missed it. They may not feel that enthusiams that I felt by haivng a glance at them but I already did, so I pass by silently, since I don’t want them to be disturbed by my eargerness to see them. For me, its a form of respect so I remain silent about it.

And why be like that? Uhmmm… I have this concpet of silence being the loudest thing a person can hear.. It can tell you so many things… makes you think a lot and let you expereince the world in a different way. As if, I can be an obsever; having a birds eye view of most things going around. I see, hear and feel things in a different perspective. When I am alone (silent)… I blend with my surroundings.

But anyway, to be honest, everytime I initially meet someone or a group or even for a frolonged period of time… after being silent for a while or observing things immediately, I have this natural tendency to create a facade that will most likely blend with the crowd whereas the impression that I may leave on that person or group varies. But if you will be able to consolidate it, you may realize that its a far cry from what I really am… I consider it a defensive mechanism; a great wall that surrounds me with no doors but just windows that can provide anyone a small glimpse of my inner self. Introvert? No… I just don’t want anyone see what I am thinking… Well, some say my eyes never lie.. but sometimes, they miss that part… looking.